A letter from a childless wife.

We weren’t waiting to have children because of an insatiable desire to pursue our careers or because we don’t like kids–as we’ve been accused of. I’ve heard the conversations behind our backs (and sometimes to our faces) surmising that we must be selfish and too rigid. I’ve heard the philosophy that we should have children in order to become “better people”.

I’ve also been given the insightful information that childbearing is not only what makes me a “real woman”, but more importantly, that it’s my Godly duty. And, my favorite is the “concerned” person who warned me that having children after 35 greatly increases the chances of the child being mentally or physically handicapped. As if this would be a horrible consequence to us waiting.

The simple fact is–we wanted to wait until we couldn’t wait any more. This was how we approached our marriage. And since this would be another life long decision–not just something cute to hold for a moment–we waited. We thought we might be ready by our fourth or fifth year into marriage. But soon, our sixth, seventh and then tenth anniversary passed us by and we were still childless. And we were fine with it.

However, about the eleventh year, I observed that we started noticing kids. It began in small ways. One of us would comment on how tiny baby shoes were-something that never mattered before. Or, my husband would point out the cute fuzzy hair on our nephew. The emotions began to creep in and the desire was planted.

We wanted and we were ready to have our family.

But, along with our desire came our hesitation. We loved our spontaneous weekend get-aways without worrying about a sitter. We loved biking through the city with no real plan or a diaper bag. As a compromise to a specific plan, we went without charting or taking temperatures, and decided to try–without trying. Every month that rolled around was a game of roulette. And we lost every time.

I took solace as I watched frazzled mothers yelling at their children at church, in the mall, and at the gas station. I skipped on by, coffee in hand, with no spit-up on my shirt and no poop smell in my car. The war stories from parents were abundant and gladly told over and over. They wore them on their sleeves like badges of honor. The same parents–chastising me for being childless–were the ones with marriages in a state of arrested development, the ones where the children were controlling everything and with absolute, total chaos in their lives.

Even so, I wanted a baby with my husband. I wanted to see a boy that looked like him, that acted like him, that admired his father. I wanted a little girl that would paint her nails, that would bake cookies with me, that would become my best friend–like I am with my mother.

And when this realization hit that I sincerely wanted a baby, the scarring in my life began. The awkward questions that I used to let roll off my back, no longer rolled. They stuck. And they hurt.

“Well, what’s wrong? Don’t you want to have kids?”. Without knowing what is wrong–if there is anything really wrong–my answer is simply, “God hasn’t blessed us with a baby–yet.”

I watch as they shift their child from one hip to the other, looking me over, trying to figure out if it’s my lack of faith, lack of body fat or something somewhere in between that’s causing me to not become pregnant, and I beg my tears to recede to their proper holding cell. Because, after all–I’m broken and I need to be fixed. By them.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have waited so long,” they say. This stings more than all the others, because it’s the one that percolates in the back of my mind. “You can always adopt,” is their next statement.

I thank them for their helpful comments and walk away, knowing I’m going home to a house that’s empty and void of onesies, toys and stuffed animals. My house is clean and everything is just where I left it. And, if I want to have a cup of coffee on the back porch while it’s raining, I can. But the rain only amplifies what I already know.

I feel broken and the questions continue to pound away at my resolve to be positive and to be at peace. Those questions mutilate me. My tears are at the ready, my emotions are at the breaking point. And this is where I am today.

I am writing this to all women that have felt this pain. And for the ones that seem to get pregnant “if their husband’s just look at them”, please, understand why I can only offer you my half smile. I am so thrilled for you, truthfully. But, it’s so hard to muster up joy for your new season when the joy seems to be gone in my season–and when I’m left in this holding pattern.

I know that God has a plan for me–I am not distraught–I have hope. I am just wounded and hurting. The questions, the helpful suggestions and opinions you have of me bruise me more than you know.

Signed-
A Childless Wife

Non-Toxic Produce Cleaner (Veggie Wash)

I am a vegetable and fruit addict. My produce bin is typically full of apples, strawberries, grapefruits, carrots, broccoli…you name it, I like to eat it. Along with the bounty from my garden, I almost need a bigger fridge. (Hint, hint, Biceps).

I needed a solution to get the wax and germs off of store-bought produce and the dirt off of my garden produce. However, I didn’t want to pay the $5 for the “Veggie Wash” and I didn’t like the list of ingredients I found on most of the bottles.

Time to make my very own Non-Toxic Produce Cleaner.

Here is all that you’ll need to make your very own Non-Toxic Produce Cleaner:

1 TBS Lemon Juice
6 TBS White Vinegar
2 1/2-3 Cups of Water
Spray Bottle

Using a funnel, measure out the 1 TBS of Lemon Juice and add to the spray bottle.

Next, add the 6 TBS of White Vinegar.

Finally, fill the bottle to the top with the water.

You can store your Non-Toxic Produce Spray under the sink or in the fridge (if you are nervous about the lemon juice). With the vinegar acting as a sort of preservative, I’ve found that it’s not really necessary.

Here are links to my other Homemade Household Cleansers and Beauty Products:

Homemade Hygiene Products
Non-Toxic Beauty Products
Non-Toxic Cooking Spray
Anti-Bacterial Spray
Easy Laundry Soap
DIY Brass Cleaner
Organic Vegetable/Produce Cleaner
Homemade Household Cleaners

And here are a few Homemade Food Items to easily replace store-bought items:
Simple, Tasty Granola
Easy Crockpot Yogurt
Simple, Homemade Butter
Cooking and Freezing Beans, avoiding BPA
Homemade Hummus
Garden Fresh Salsa

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time with such a weirdo. Make sure you become a Facebook Fan or a Linky Follower to keep up to date with what this weirdo comes up with next. Have a great day!

If these parties are up, I link to them! (Here’s my complete Linky Party Page):
Monday: Crafts Keep Me Sane, The Better Baker, Skip to My Lou, DIY Showoff, Say Not, Sumo’s Sweet Stuff, Etcetorize, Sew Chatty, Brassy Apple, Flour Me With Love, Creating my Way, Mad in Crafts, Our Delightful Home, Sew Can Do, It’s So Very Cheri, Craft O Maniac, Polly Want a Crafter, Tuesday: Craft Edition, Inspiration Board , New Nostalgia , Lettered Life , Coastal Charm, Tip Junkie , Ladybug Blessings, Hope Studios , Todays Creative Blog, Wednesday: Someday Crafts , Day2DayJoys, Jillify It , Junk in the Trunk, We are that Family , Frugally Sustainable, Sew Much Ado, Fine Craft Guild , The Thrifty Home, My Girlish Whims , Quick, Easy, Cheap & Healthy, Trendy Treehouse, Thursday: Somewhat Simple, No Minimalist Here , A Glimpse Inside, The Mommy Club, The 36th Avenue, Cheap Chic Home, Beyond the Picket Fence, Fireflies and Jellybeans , House of Hepworths , The Shabby Chic Cottage, Friday: My Repurposed Life, It’s a HodgePodge Life, The Shabby Nest, Just Wingin’ It, One Artsy Momma, French Country Cottage, Finding Fabulous, Passionately Artistic, Petals and Picots, Simply Designing, Little Becky Homecky, My Romantic Home, Bacon Time, Simply Living, Saturday: Polkadot Pretties, Tatertots and Jello, Create and Inspire, Be Different, Act Normal, Craft Envy, Funky Junk Interiors, Petites Passion, Sunday: Under the Table, Natural Mothers, Mopping the Floor

Non-Toxic Cooking Spray

Who loves cancer? Not me. Did you know that the propellant (Methylene Chloride) in an aerosol cooking spray is a known carcinogen that leads to cancer? Yum-let’s spray that all over our pans and then heat it up.

How about instead we make our own!

Here’s all that you’ll need to make your very own Non-Toxic Cooking Spray:
One Part Water
One Part Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Plant Mister Bottle (I found mine at Lowe’s for $3)

Fill the mister bottle half-way with water.

Top it off with the Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Thoroughly shake before every use.

Tah-dah! That’s it. You are finished and can spray your pans with your Non-Toxic Cooking Spray while knowing you rid yourself of one more nasty toxin.

Here are links to my other Homemade Household Cleansers and Beauty Products:

Homemade Hygiene Products
Non-Toxic Beauty Products
Non-Toxic Cooking Spray
Anti-Bacterial Spray
Easy Laundry Soap
DIY Brass Cleaner
Organic Vegetable/Produce Cleaner
Homemade Household Cleaners

And here are a few Homemade Food Items to easily replace store-bought items:
Simple, Tasty Granola
Easy Crockpot Yogurt
Simple, Homemade Butter
Cooking and Freezing Beans, avoiding BPA
Homemade Hummus
Garden Fresh Salsa

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time with such a weirdo. Make sure you become a Facebook Fan or a Linky Follower to keep up to date with what this weirdo comes up with next. Have a great day!

If these parties are up, I link to them! (Here’s my complete Linky Party Page):
Monday: Crafts Keep Me Sane, The Better Baker, Skip to My Lou, DIY Showoff, Say Not, Sumo’s Sweet Stuff, Etcetorize, Sew Chatty, Brassy Apple, Flour Me With Love, Creating my Way, Mad in Crafts, Our Delightful Home, Sew Can Do, It’s So Very Cheri, Craft O Maniac, Polly Want a Crafter, Tuesday: Craft Edition, Inspiration Board , New Nostalgia , Lettered Life , Coastal Charm, Tip Junkie , Ladybug Blessings, Hope Studios , Todays Creative Blog, Wednesday: Someday Crafts , Day2DayJoys, Jillify It , Junk in the Trunk, We are that Family , Frugally Sustainable, Sew Much Ado, Fine Craft Guild , The Thrifty Home, My Girlish Whims , Quick, Easy, Cheap & Healthy, Trendy Treehouse, Thursday: Somewhat Simple, No Minimalist Here , A Glimpse Inside, The Mommy Club, The 36th Avenue, Cheap Chic Home, Beyond the Picket Fence, Fireflies and Jellybeans , House of Hepworths , The Shabby Chic Cottage, Friday: My Repurposed Life, It’s a HodgePodge Life, The Shabby Nest, Just Wingin’ It, One Artsy Momma, French Country Cottage, Finding Fabulous, Passionately Artistic, Petals and Picots, Simply Designing, Little Becky Homecky, My Romantic Home, Bacon Time, Simply Living, Saturday: Polkadot Pretties, Tatertots and Jello, Create and Inspire, Be Different, Act Normal, Craft Envy, Funky Junk Interiors, Petites Passion, Sunday: Under the Table, Natural Mothers, Mopping the Floor

Non-Toxic Anti-Bacterial Spray

Germs. We’ve all got ’em. We all hate ’em. Let’s get rid of them in a kind way.

I’ve shared this recipe for a Non-Toxic Anti-Bacterial Spray with you before, along with a number of other easy Non-Toxic Homemade Household Cleaners. However, I wanted to give you a little more info about what all this Anti-Bacterial Spray can do for you and some step-by-step instructions that will really seal the deal.

This recipe for a Non-Toxic Anti-Bacterial Spray is simple, inexpensive and best of all won’t harm you, the kids, the pets or your property. Win-win-win-win-win…..Need I go on?

Here’s all the you’ll need to make your very own Non-Toxic Anti-Bacterial Spray:
1 Part Vinegar
1 Part Water
1/8 tsp (about 8 hearty drops) of Tea Tree Oil
Spray Bottle

Fill the bottle half way with white vinegar.

Fill the bottle the rest of the way with water.

Add about 1/8 tsp or 8 drops of Tea Tree Oil. Place the nozzle into the bottle and seal tightly. Shake a little bit.

Attack germs at will! This smells fantastic, you should know. And, it won’t harm anything you spray it on in your house.
In fact, you can even eat it. What?! I know. Awesome.

(Use it on everything but mirrors, t.v. screens, chrome or stainless steel. Because of the tea tree oil, it will leave streaks.)

Here are some fun facts about Tea Tree Oil you may or may not know:

Tea Tree Oil can cure almost anything that you might have. It is a natural antifungal, antibacterial, antiviral, anti-infection oil. It can be used in a variety of applications to cure and heal a host of ailments and conditions.It’s been called the “medicine cabinet” in a bottle. For example, Tea Tree Oil can help with:
Acne
Athletes foot
Bad breath
Body oil
Boils
Blisters
Colds
Dandruff
Dry skin
Germs
Fleas-even on pets!
Head lice
Insect bites and more

Here are links to my other Homemade Household Cleansers and Beauty Products:

Homemade Hygiene Products
Non-Toxic Beauty Products
Non-Toxic Cooking Spray
Easy Laundry Soap
DIY Brass Cleaner
Organic Vegetable/Produce Cleaner
Homemade Household Cleaners

And here are a few Homemade Food Items to easily replace store-bought items:
Simple, Tasty Granola
Easy Crockpot Yogurt
Simple, Homemade Butter
Cooking and Freezing Beans, avoiding BPA
Homemade Hummus
Garden Fresh Salsa

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time with such a weirdo. Make sure you become a Facebook Fan or a Linky Follower to keep up to date with what this weirdo comes up with next. Have a great day!

If these parties are up, I link to them! (Here’s my complete Linky Party Page):
Monday: Crafts Keep Me Sane, The Better Baker, Skip to My Lou, DIY Showoff, Say Not, Sumo’s Sweet Stuff, Etcetorize, Sew Chatty, Brassy Apple, Flour Me With Love, Creating my Way, Mad in Crafts, Our Delightful Home, Sew Can Do, It’s So Very Cheri, Craft O Maniac, Polly Want a Crafter, Tuesday: Craft Edition, Inspiration Board , New Nostalgia , Lettered Life , Coastal Charm, Tip Junkie , Ladybug Blessings, Hope Studios , Todays Creative Blog, Wednesday: Someday Crafts , Day2DayJoys, Jillify It , Junk in the Trunk, We are that Family , Frugally Sustainable, Sew Much Ado, Fine Craft Guild , The Thrifty Home, My Girlish Whims , Quick, Easy, Cheap & Healthy, Trendy Treehouse, Thursday: Somewhat Simple, No Minimalist Here , A Glimpse Inside, The Mommy Club, The 36th Avenue, Cheap Chic Home, Beyond the Picket Fence, Fireflies and Jellybeans , House of Hepworths , The Shabby Chic Cottage, Friday: My Repurposed Life, It’s a HodgePodge Life, The Shabby Nest, Just Wingin’ It, One Artsy Momma, French Country Cottage, Finding Fabulous, Passionately Artistic, Petals and Picots, Simply Designing, Little Becky Homecky, My Romantic Home, Bacon Time, Simply Living, Saturday: Polkadot Pretties, Tatertots and Jello, Create and Inspire, Be Different, Act Normal, Craft Envy, Funky Junk Interiors, Petites Passion, Sunday: Under the Table, Natural Mothers, Mopping the Floor