Le Garden is in. And so are the bunnies.

Dear Bunnies of Oklahoma:

Right now, you are totally on my naughty list. True-you are really fuzzy and cute. True-you have adorable, tiny noses that spazz out over the simplest smell.

And, true-your jet black eyes make my heart melt.

However, cute little bunnies-after I have tilled the soil…

…planted dainty little plants…

…why do you don ninja masks and incessantly choose to nibble on my plants in the darkness of the night?!

You kind’ve make me feel like this. And I don’t like feeling like this. Don’t make me get the rubberband gun. 

Sincerely-

A concerned gardening citizen

Sweet Baby No Likey

Our family (on both sides) do not like to produce females. Thus, I have six nephews total-and counting. It’s pretty awesome since I tend to understand boys better than girls. The “let’s play house” scares me-even though that should be an easy fit. Throw me a rubberband gun, some cammo paint and a pit of dirt and I am in my element.

Therefore, I was in heaven when Bicep’s brother and his wife decided to produce another boy bearing the Greiman name last December. And, they named him Sweet Baby Angus (ok, I added the “Sweet Baby”).

But look at this cute mug. Can you blame me for adding the “Sweet Baby” in front of his birth name? I say you cannot.

Angus is a texture guy and he apparently does not like the texture of green beans.

His mommy tried to hide the green beans in other food. He was quite crafty for an almost-one-year-old. Somehow, his sneaky little tongue separated the green beans from the decoy food.

During our picnic, this is the look that Angus decided was “for him”. Not much changed throughout his feeding. I guess these sorts of things start young.

I still can’t get over the texture of tuna due to a disgusting tuna-noddle-casserole incident. I have your back, Sweet Baby Angus. Auntie Rebekah will never force you to eat tuna or green beans. Unless Mommy says so. Then, my hands are tied. You know what they say about Momma Bear and I do not want to be on the loosing side…

“Who dun it?”

A Modern Tale of Men, Mayhem and Machine Guns
(alright, they weren’t machine guns. They were Rubber Band Guns, but I was going for the whole alliteration thing…)

Biceps and I made gifts for our family this year. The ladies received girly things. The men received very manly things. Fourteen Rubber Band Guns were crafted for the men. They received their new weaponry and enough ammunition to do some damage to the loved ones surrounding them.

With the guns loaded and the rules explained to young and old alike…

…and with every man suppressing way too much energy for way too stinkin’ long on Christmas day, the stage was ripe for a modern, ‘Who dun it’ scenario.

A fired gun and a naughty motive are all that it takes to convict a man. And there were several men in this predicament.

Father turned against son. Grandson turned against Grandfather. Brother threatened brother.

And then, a shot rang out. A door slammed.

The maid screamed.
And my father had been maliciously targeted by an unknown shooter…

…and hit! Oh, the pain! The agony!
The guilty party still has yet to step forward and admit to what they had done. But justice is swift in this house and you cannot hide from justice. Good luck hiding, guilty one. Good luck.

Rad Rubberband Guns and Mayhem

Biceps and I went the home-made route for our gifts this year. The ladies were easy. But the men? We toiled over what to make for those jokers. With ages ranging from one to a sixty something, it’s difficult to make a gift they could all enjoy. But the Lord offered His wisdom to us, bringing us an epiphany.
What do all men love, no matter their age?

Weaponry. And the bigger, the better.
With that epiphany came the conclusion that our ‘Man Gift’ would be a Rubberband Gun. It was cheap, it was easy and most of all-we were able to do it together-so it was fun.

Here’s what you’ll need to make a Mayhem Inducing Rubberband Gun:
Foam core (or a like material to be used as the gun stencil)
Plywood
Palm Sander and Medium Grit Sand Paper
Microfiber Cloth or lint free rag
Oops Paint/Stain
Skill Saw or a Jig Saw (not pictured)
Scroll Saw (depending on the intricacy of the design)
Clothes Pin
Rubberband
Tape Measure

You’ll also want:
5 Minute Epoxy
Brad Nails
Foamy Brushes

And, we added a few optional accessories that aren’t necessary, but are pretty stinkin’ cool:
For the strap:
Three feet of 1” canvas webbing (from the Army Surplus Store)
Two Drywall Screws and washers per gun to attach the strap

Name or initials:
Spray Paint
Stencils

Using the foam core, draw and cut out the stencil of the desired gun design. Trace the design onto the plywood. Cut the basic design out of the plywood using the jig saw or a skill saw.

If the design is intricate or has tight curves (heh heh), I recommend using a scroll saw for the finishing touches.

Once the design is cut from the plywood, sand the wood smooth with the palm sander.

Remove the dust with a lint free rag or a micro fiber cloth.

Apply the stain with the foamy brushes and let dry. I like to wear gloves, but you may like that dirty nail look that is virtually unremovable for weeks, even when you have an important meeting….

Once the stain is dry, cut in the paint with another foamy brush and let dry. Either paint or stain the clothespin during this process-depending on your preference.

If applicable, line up your guns while they are drying and revel in their glory. I know that’s what we did.

Disassemble the clothespin and apply 5 minute epoxy to the bottom side of the clothespin.

Glue the bottom side of the clothespin to the desired spot on the gun. We glued our clothespins 17” away from the release point. Brad nail the bottom side of the clothespin to the gun for added strength. Reassemble the clothespin once the epoxy is completely dry.

The next two steps-applying a name and adding a strap-are optional. We were making fourteen of these suckers, so we decided to put names on each gun in order to keep them straight within the family.
Tape the stencils to the gun using a quick release tape or blue painters tape. Mask off the rest of the gun to protect it from overspray. Spray the name with several light coats of spray paint.

The strap was made with a three foot piece of 1” canvas webbing. Use a washer to protect the screw from going completely through the strap.

Screw the strap into the desired spots on the gun.

Here is one of our many finished products. So stinkin’ cool.

And here is the small arsenal of gifts once completed, taking over our home.

Biceps insisted he test out each of the guns.

I was caught in the line of ‘friendly fire’ several times.

He protested his innocence. And he’s so dang cute, he’ll get away with almost anything.

Each recipient fully tested their new weapon. At my house. For hours. With exuberance and glee. I suppose it’s my fault. I had a part in making them.
Merry Christmas, boys. Merry Christmas.