The Kittens-from Handheld to Back Brace

Biceps insisted upon adopting two kittens when our sweet Cowboy passed away last year. If you’ve been reading my blog at all, you will have no doubt seen some of Maxwell and Bianca’s antics, along with photographed evidence. I’ve shared about them getting stuck in the fireplace, to being a prime target for a hungry hawk (that continues to stalk them), to our futile efforts in training them.

I haven’t talked about the kittens in awhile. Time flies when you’re having fun.

How can someone so tiny that was once held in the palm of my hand….

…grow into this? Maxwell literally weighs 14 pounds and it’s all muscle. He is a force to be reckoned with.

And how can this sweet little girl, that once smelled of potpourri and was happiest nuzzled into Bicep’s shoulder/chin area…

…grow so big she hardly fits on her favorite scratching post anymore? Bianca weighs about half of what Maxwell does, but she still wears out my arms and shoulders when she’s in a cuddly mood and wants to be held.

I tell them to quit growing, but they won’t listen to me.

They are busy catching bugs, attacking Q-tips and bear-hugging the backs of our legs.

Even though they are “all grown up”, they will always be my kittens. Yep. Cheesy, I know. But, a fact is a fact.

Touching Tuesday’s

My lovely parents and their sweet little dog left my home yesterday-taking my heart with them. To ease the pain of missing them, I threw myself into cleaning the house, changing the sheets, washing the towels and piling the dog hair into the trashcan.

Although Max had entertained himself by pestering the dog for the last two weeks, I think he was a little torn up to see her go.

He spent most of the afternoon looking for the dog, meowing from room to room. He needed a little reassurance from his best friend, Bianca.

She was more than happy to cuddle up to her best friend, clean his dirty paws and fall asleep purring in his gigantic muscly arms.

It was pretty touching.

Summer Kitty Fight Club

I have notice the kittens have an adverse reaction to the heat. We spend three hours outside almost every morning trying to curb their voracious appetite for destruction. While I write, they attack butterflies, stalk crickets, and tick off squirrels.

You’d think they would come in exhausted and ready for some treats and a nap. No luck. They are training for some secretive fight clubs we humans are not privy to.

Max weighs approximately 10 pounds more than Bianca. So his defense is domination.

Bianca’s is one of supposed submission only to suddenly kick her opponent with her back rabbit feet and toss Max onto his butt. (If cats had butts, that is.)

That only dissuades Max momentarily. After a tense minute or two as he sizes up the situation…

…he pounces, bear hugs and rolls the two of them around like a burrito of fur. It’s a pretty exciting way to pass a few minutes until the both are tuckered out and go to their respective corners.

Max has been shunning treats, as of late. Bianca has been cutting back on her food intake. I have a feeling this training is getting pretty serious. And it has an end goal.

I just hope the end goal is not to take over the humans like I’ve always feared. But, if I have to be ruled by someone/something-being ruled over by a cute furry cat isn’t a bad way to go. Don’t you think?

Cats on the Counter, Training Help?

Dear Readers:
I need your help in the cat training department. It may seem surprising to tell you these kittens aren’t perfect. And yes, they are so cute it’s hard to believe they don’t obey my every command. In fact, their cuteness is the only thing keeping them around sometimes-to be honest.

Max gets a kick out of knocking the mannequin heads off of the fireplace mantel. Bianca has literally figured out how to turn on the kitchen sink faucet and sets up camp in the sink to drink to her little heart’s content. (She has a dish of fresh water each day, but this apparently isn’t good enough.)

This is how our discipline began with the tender kittens: A firm “NO” and a finger wag.
This did absolutely nothing.

Second came the squirt bottle. Initially, they didn’t like it and would run for the hills. But, then they got used to being hosed and held their ground as I sprayed them directly in the face during their naughty escapade.

We have since upgraded to an air horn. It’s ear splitting and I hate to use it-mostly because it deafens me and I know the neighbors can hear it. (I’m sure they just chalk it up to “those weird Greimans”.)
I think the cats are getting used to this, too.

For example, I have been sick for the last few days. The house was suddenly too quiet. I forced myself out of bed to find Max lounging on the kitchen counter and he was watching Bianca licking water from the faucet. They saw me-air horn and all, but went right on with what they were doing. I honked the air horn and both kittens scattered off into the living room-but were right back in position maybe 5 minutes later.

So, dear readers: how do you train your cat? I need some suggestions before I go crazy.