Archive for category: Christmas Cards

Christmas is over-what’s next on the list?

Every year, around August, I start thinking about and planning for Christmas. Biceps and I begin discussing that year’s Christmas photo  and I begin gathering costuming and necessary accoutrements.


And, I have a theory about Christmas:

Lists rule, disorganization drools.


List for 2012 Christmas Card Photo:

1. Angel Wings
2. Large Tighty-Whities
3. My “dress”-a white sheet
4. Halo
5. Red Jeans
6. Cape
7. Devil Horns
8. Triton

Totally normal Christmas Photo shoot list for most families, I assume.


And sometime after Thanksgiving, I start scheming for Bicep’s birthday-(also known as my “pre-Christmas”), because he’s a Christmas Eve baby.

List for Bicep’s Birthday:

1. Egg pancakes for Birthday breakfast (Greiman tradition)
2. Some sort of weaponry present
3. Some sort of clothing item present that he will probably return
4. Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting with chocolate ice cream (plus more chocolate options, just in case)
5. Back-up Chocolate


Now, if you know anything about Biceps and I-you know that we are frugal. Christmas is budgeted throughout the year, with a little set aside each month. That way, when present making (or for this year-present buying) comes around, we don’t go into a sticker-shock-induced-coma.


Usual List for homemade presents:

1. 95 Ripe Bananas (boy, do the cashier’s give us a weird look)
2. 8 Bags Pretzel Rods
3. 4 Packages Almond Bark
4. 5 Bags Flour
5. 5 Bags Sugar
6. 3 Jars Molasses
7. 2 Bags Peppermint Candy
8. Etc….


And then there’s the Thank You Note List for Gifts Received (past, present and future):

1. Golden Toilet Lighter from Daniel
2. Self-Adhesive Mustache Pack from Christy
3. Portrait of a Sheriff from Beau
4. Inappropriately Shaped Pine Cone Ornament from Carisa
5. Pooping Penguin from Justin
6. 1966 Ford Mustang from Biceps


But now, the carefully planned out lists have been fulfilled and thrown away. The presents have been unwrapped, the meals have been eaten and the house is silent.

And, it’s time to put all the Christmas cheer back in its appropriate box, wrap it up in tissue paper and store it-once more-up in the attic, until next Christmas.

And I am left with a “Christmas-less” house-until next August when the planning begins again. I don’t have a list anymore. It’s a little disconcerting.

What’s next on your list?

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Christmas Card Photo Reveal 2012

I know the internet world has been holding its breath for the 2012 Greiman Christmas Card Photo revelation. If you are unfamiliar with our tradition, Biceps and I create a photographic masterpiece that we share with our friends, families, accountants, pastors and the like.

No one is safe from this awesomeness.

And, if you haven’t seen the last 11 years of our Christmas Card Photo glory, you should probably catch up. It will make your Monday morning.



Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like giving the devil a good, old-fashioned wedgie.

Merry Christmas!

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The 2011 Christmas Photo Reveal!

By now, those of you on the gigantic “Greiman Christmas Card List” have received your 2011 Christmas Photo.
If not, you have lazy postal workers.
Or perhaps-I have the wrong address.
At any rate, you shouldn’t have to wait any longer to feast upon such photographic magnificence.
And without further ado: Here is our 2011 Christmas Photo.
(If you would like to see past year’s photos, check out Christmas Cards.)

Let me fill you in on some of the details.

My Pippi Longstocking hair has floral wire interlaced throughout my braid.
Bicep’s Lederhosen are courtesy of a $30 thrift store purchase in Minneapolis.
I own the Germanic dress, courtesy of a $1 purchase at my favorite local thrift store in Tulsa.
The “backdrop” is a rug purchased from the flea market, and currently resides in our breakfast nook.
The beer was real and heartily consumed.
The mustache is not.
The inspiration was from God.

(Again, if you would like to see past year’s photos, check out Christmas Cards.)

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Weird Christmas Cards Photos

It all started when I met Kayle.

He seemed normal enough. In fact, he seemed much cooler than me. He played in a band, owned a house, had tattoos and rode a motorcycle.

As we all know, first impressions can be deceiving. After a few months of dating this cool guy, I began to get to know the real him. Here are a couple of weird things about my seemingly perfect man:

I found out he toots during ab workouts.
And he cannot be interrupted when eating cereal.
He has no ‘favorites’; as in favorite movies, candy, or food.
He fold down his socks when he wants to be ‘casual’.
Often, he gets distracted during conversation and begins to count the number of letters in the words you are saying. For example, his favorite word(s) to count is Family Restaurant. ‘Why’, you may ask? Because there are 16 letters in this phrase and that makes 4 beats of 4. Get it? Neither do I….

At any rate, all these eccentricities pointed to the fact that he was indeed weirder than me. But it is still a close race on who reigns in the weirdness department.

And when two weirdos join forces, this is what happens.


Christmas 2001. 

A little funny, but not overboard. We started off innocently enough. Also, we made the firm decision that everyone we know gets a card and a picture, no exceptions. This includes but is not limited to: our friends, relatives, accountants, pastors, boss’, etc.

Sometimes, I regret this decision.
Like pretty much every year.


And then, Christmas 2002.

We were in Boston on tour with Hubby’s band. We had to make do with what we had, and this is what we chose. It’s pretty cute, I think.
Man, I loved those mittens.


Christmas 2003.

By far our most normal picture to date. We took this at the Flea Market in Tulsa where we get our ornament for the year. Subsequently, I broke this ornament in 2009. Geesh….I am such a clutz sometimes.

However….Life really can take some twists and turns, can’t it?

Christmas 2004 was a tough one. No card or picture was sent out that we can recall. We were more concerned with the small explosion that happened at the end of 2004.


To commemorate the explosion, we sent this picture out for Christmas 2005.  As you can see, our house blew up. It was a miracle not a soul was hurt, but that is a whole other story.
And we knew our lives and the expectations on our Christmas card pictures would never be the same.

Christmas 2006. 

A missions moment with the Greiman’s.


Christmas 2007. 

How do I explain why we decided to do this? I can’t and won’t.
Bananas in hammocks for Christmas 2008. 

I wouldn’t recommend trying to drive around in one of these costumes.

Christmas 2009.

Merry Poop-mas.

My pastor didn’t say a word about receiving his card this year.



Christmas 2010.I have never felt more beautiful in all my life…And crazy.

Christmas 2011. We explored our Germanic roots.


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