The Not-Uncomfortable Baby Shower

I know. The title of this post is a double negative. I know what this means in writing terms. I am aware of what I am doing. At least-I am aware of what I am doing right here, right now. Ask me again in five minutes and my mind may have wandered to some far-off place that is filled with baby anxiety, onesies and tiny socks.

Anywho-I want to address the title as both a double negative in writing terms but a title that is a positive point to my weekend. Let’s add up these positive points:

(1) There were no tiny sandwiches and I bought huge paper plates. (3 points, plus 10 bonus points). This allowed me to eat A LOT.
(2) There were both men and women involved, allowing for easy conversations and a party atmosphere. (5 points)
(3) There was a lot of leftover food-which I am still munching on. (4 points)
(4) It was at my house where I feel most comfortable using the bathroom ten gazillion times. (7 points).
(5) My parents, friends and family all chipped in and helped to pull off this large event. (17 points)

(6) People either lied to me or they did really have a good time. Even the ones that were hoodwinked by their female spouses to attend a “19th century lecture on Russian politics”, only to find out it was a baby shower. (3 points for hoodwink creativity, 5 points for the husband not holding a grudge to the hoodwinker).
(7) The food “made up” for being hoodwinked by aforementioned person. (2 points)
(8) There were no awkward baby shower games. (100 points)

(9) I got to see so many people I care about in one blow, opening up my calendar for the next month.
(18 points plus 2 points for not feeling guilty about this fact).
(10) I didn’t wear shoes-the whole night. (60 points).

That comes up to a grand total of….anyone have a calculator and a non-prego brain? Please answer below.