Yes, Biceps and I have been married 11+ years. Yes, we live in midwest Oklahoma. No, we don’t have five ankle biters-yet.
And, to oppose the rumors swirling around these hard to deny facts of sans babydom-yes, I do like a clean house and fresh clothes without spit-up, poop or Lord-knows-what on them. And, I like to be on time, all the time.
(No pun intended on the gas portion of the sentence. Ok, maybe a little pun intended.)
I’ve seen my friend’s kids grow up all too quickly–to the point that I don’t recognize them immediately. “When did she start wearing a bra?”
“Who’s that boy smooching on her-I’ll kill him!”
“Is it really legal for her to be driving?”
“What’s with the dang Justin Bieber hairdo? I can’t see his beautiful, blue eyes.”
(All real thoughts from my weirdo brain.)
This little nephew of mine came into this world as a tiny newborn protected behind a shield of glass, but has transitioned into a smiling, crawling, fuzzy headed little dude that loves to sit in front of a fan or enjoy his Uncle Bicep’s crazy, fast pony rides.
(In my opinion they are crazy, fast pony rides. This does not reflect the opinions of others-namely, Biceps.)
Who knows? I do live in Oklahoma-the land of encouraged repeated reproductivity. I’d better get busy.
No pun intended.