Funky Gold Medina

I can’t pass up tacky gold objects. I have an addiction,
and I’m alright with that. My lengthy affair with silver seems to be coming to a close.
After browsing one afternoon at Habitat for Humanity, I found two gold light fixture medallions for $1 a piece. And I made this. Want to know how? Read on, sister!

A medallion is the part of the light fixture between the glass that houses the lightbulbs and the ceiling. It covers over the ugly hole in your ceiling cut by your contractor or a housewife that tries to replace a ceiling fixture while her hubby is away.
Not that that’s ever happened.

What you’ll need for this swanky wall hanging:
Light fixture medallion
Oops Paint (2 colors)
Paintbrush
Rubber Cement or White Glue
Textured Wallpaper or textured craft paper
Card Stock or cardboard
Scissors

Trace the inside opening of your medallion onto your card stock and as Uncle Joey used to say, ‘Cut it out!’. Cut a square of textured wallpaper or craft paper out that is slightly bigger than your piece of card stock.

Cover the card stock with a sufficient amount of glue and adhere it to the back side of your wallpaper.
I set a large book on top of the wallpaper to stick the two together.
Sit and wait. I chose to listen to Getz and Gilberto while I was waiting. It was most enjoyable.
Actually, I did a load of laundry and made dinner and returned some phone calls. But a girl can dream, can’t she?

Once your glue has dried, cut away the excess of wallpaper from the card stock circle.

Paint your circle with some of your favorite ‘oops’ or leftover paint you have lying around.
Pay no attention to how messy my brush is in this picture. It was for dramatic emphasis for the reader.

I found a silhouette of a feather that I liked online by, are you ready for this?-googling the words ‘feather silhouette’.
I am a genius.
After tracing the silhouette on your circle, grab your second color of paint and go to town.

Here’s my silhouette taking shape.

After the feather was dry, I mounted the circle into the medallion using double sided foamy squares (the kind used for spacers in scrapbooking and card making).
Then, I hung the finished piece on a tree I have outside. My neighbor just looked at me and asked me what I was doing.
I told her I was decorating the tree.
‘Uh, huh’, she said.
I hung it up in my office eventually, but I just liked messing with my neighbor. She can take it.

My Mini Chainsaw

I love being on the road with Biceps, but I also love being at home-especially during the springtime.
I get to be outside and take care of my yard. There’s something about smelling my own fresh cut grass, instead of smelling the grass at the hotel or the truck stop.
Sometimes, you don’t want to smell that grass.

One of my favorite yardy-type things to do is to break out this little lady-my mini-chainsaw. I really want a bigger one, but I think Biceps is scared of what I might do to our yard if I owned one. So, little Mini will do.

Safety first. Mini’s blade was a little lose, as you can see here.

On little Mini, first you loosen the blade by using a socket wrench on these two bolts that are sticking out and then you pull the center black metal piece out to tighten up the blade.

Check to make sure you have plenty of ‘bar oil’. I checked and I did.
Now, it’s time for Mini and I to do some killin’.

I recommend you pose like this before you attack anything.
It’s very intimidating.

This pose will allow your victim to prepare itself for impending death. I recommend doing this, also.

Die, sucker, die!
Oh, you’re already dead…hm…

My little Mini is rather sassy. I have no idea where she gets it from…

…no idea at all.

No one messes with me. No one messes with Mini.
I am tough. Hear me roar.

‘How to do it like a Woman’-Finishing Your Hardwood Floors-Part Deux

I bet you’re a little sore today after Part Uno.
Don’t fret, today is an easy day. A fun day. You are going to make those dusty floors look brand spanking shiny and new!
HURRAH!

From our list in ‘Part Uno’, this is what you will need today:
Shop Vac
Rubber Gloves
Polyurethane
Stain (if desired, I did not desire)
Paint Tray & liners
Foamy Brush
Lambs Wool Applicator
Pole Sander & 220 Grit Pole Sander Pads
Mineral Spirits/Paint Thinner and rags
A good attitude

First things first; using your shop vac, suck up all of the dust particles from every square inch of your newly sanded floors.
This step sucks! heh heh.
I recommend dust mopping the walls and vacuuming off ledges and shelves, as well.

Spread a generous amount of the paint thinner/mineral spirits onto your rag and take a big wiff of it. Now that you are dizzy, wipe the entire floor with your smelly rag. This removes the fine particles left behind by the vacuum.

Guess what?! If you want to apply a stain, this is the time to do it. Use a lintless rag to apply your stain evenly to the floor.
If you are like me and aren’t applying a stain, it’s time for Round 1 of polyurethane! Grab your rubber gloves, make a bird out of them (shown above) and get pumped.
You can skip the ‘bird’ step if you like.

Gently stir your poly in a clockwise rotation with a clean stir stick.
Don’t pull up from the bottom or stir quickly. This will create air pockets in your poly. And that is not good…
You will want to stir your poly (both in the can and in the paint tray) from time to time throughout the application process.

Pour your poly very gently into your paint tray. I recommend using a liner in your paint tray or you will have a sticky mess on your hands and everywhere else.
Dip the Lamb’s Wool Applicator gently into the poly, pulling back until the applicator is full.

Start in the furthest corner of the room and plan how you are going to get out of the room. (Don’t poly yourself into the corner. That’s just embarrassing.)
Using even strokes, gently pull the lamb’s wool applicator towards you, following the direction of the wood. Repeat this until the floor is coated with polyurethane.
It’s easy to miss spots or leave puddles. Review your work as you go, using different viewing angles.

Let the first coat of poly dry. Follow the amount of time recommended by the manufacturer.
Every poly is a little different. I’ve always said that.

After the floor has had enough time to dry, use your pole sander and your 220 grit sand paper to smooth out any bubbles or high spots from pooling poly (can you say that 10 times fast?) following the direction of the wood.
You can also rent a buffing machine, but I like to get a shoulder workout. And, I’m cheap.
Vacuum the floor thoroughly after you are done sanding.

Now, it’s time for Round 2 of polyurethane!
(Follow the same instructions from Round 1 for applying the poly).

Let ‘er dry. YEAH!!!!
You are finished. Look at that floor! And you did it all by yourself. Follow your manufacturer’s instructions on dry time. Usually you can walk on the floors 2 days or so afterwards.
You did a great job.
And THAT’S how a woman does it.